I did not make these up, for the records. But they sure are a hoot! Enjoy and let me know if you GET every single one!
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
10. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
11. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
12. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
13. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
14. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran
15. A backward poet writes inverse.
16. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
17. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.