Monday, May 13, 2013

Me vs God - Really?

We laugh to ourselves when we think of those Bible stories where mere human beings actually had the nerve to stand up to God. I mean, come on - there's a reason he's called GOD with a capitol G! And anyone who knows anything knows that a true God is not going to let mortals tell him what to do.

So why do I try and tell God what to do almost every day? Every time I question WHY, choose to ignore something obvious from him in my life, succumb to worry and fear about the future, and feel discontented, I am essentially telling God I don't trust him enough to work things out for my good. As he promises he will. It's me vs God - and just take a wild guess who wins every time. Oh I put up a good fight; one of my primary traits has always been stubbornness. But I mean really, this is GOD we're talking about, not just a grandfather in the sky or an apathetic old man wringing his hands over the state of the world. He is active. And he will see his will done on earth as it is in heaven.

The pastor at the church we visited yesterday preached a sermon that cut into me like a knife... His question was, what are you filled with? Is it Jesus? Or is it this job, that opportunity, this person, that event? And I was bashed between the eyes by the fact that I, Katie, care more about what I, Katie, think of myself, than what God thinks of me. My eyes actually filled with tears as I considered how I've knocked myself out pretty much my whole life to ACHIEVE something, to be someone - not for accolades from others, but so I could close my eyes every night thinking I accomplished something. I've never been much of a people pleaser, but I LOVE to please myself. What confronted me yesterday was the simple question: do you want to please GOD? Of course any true Christian would immediately answer YES to that question! But talk is cheap, and the real test will come in how you live your life, make your choices, spend your time.

The earth-shattering truth is that God is a god like none other. He loved his children before they were born (Ephesians 1) and nothing we can do will make him love us more. And by pursuing what I think is important, regardless of what God thinks is important, I am basically telling him his love is not enough. That I need something more than his love. Don't get me wrong - planning for the future and considering the talents and passions God has given you will help you decide how to spend your life. But there is a fine line that can be so easily crossed, we may look back at it, shocked how long ago we crossed it.

"Commit your way unto the Lord. Trust him and he will act."
-Psalm 37:5