Saturday, June 22, 2013

White Knuckles

This is something I have always ALWAYS struggled with: letting go. My entire life I've equated letting go and giving up/moving on as the same thing, but really they're not. The hardest thing for me is letting go WITHOUT giving up or just throwing out the entire situation. Letting go, yet staying in the situation, without knowing what the outcome will be - and not being able to control it - is extremely difficult. I honestly don't know if I've ever truly done it. But I hope to become proficient at it because, newsflash, Katie can't control everything in her life! And she can't run away from it either! Maddening and freeing at the same time.

To "let go" does not mean to stop caring; it means I can't do it for someone else.

To "let go" is not to cut myself off; it's a realization that I can't control another.

To "let go" is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To "let go" is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another, it's to make the most of myself.

To "let go" is not to fix, but to be supportive.

To "let go" is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies.

To "let go" is not to deny, but to accept.

To "let go" is not to nag, scold, or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

To "let go" is to fear less and love more.

Every one of these lines is like taking a hammer to my solid brick wall of everything I am. Or at least thought myself to be. But it's truth. And I want it in my life.

"And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free."